The Lost Girls

Late-Diagnosed ADHD in Women, Emotional Reactions

Meet the Lost Girls

We are the women who survived school by sheer willpower, colour-coded binders, and the ability to hand in essays five minutes before the deadline—every single time. We are the ones who have turned “running late” into an Olympic sport and somehow made “chaotic but charming” our personal brand.

We are the Lost Girls—women whose ADHD was overlooked for decades, only to be discovered in the messy, marvellous middle of life.

If you’ve just received your diagnosis, you’re not broken, lazy, or scatter brained—you’ve simply been running a marathon with the wrong shoes. And now, finally, someone’s handing you the right pair.

Why Were We Missed?

The Science Bias

When ADHD was first researched, the spotlight was on little boys bouncing off classroom walls. Girls? Well, we were often too busy staring out the window, doodling elaborate unicorn kingdoms, or mentally re-writing the plot of our favourite TV show to cause much disruption.

Our quiet, inattentive symptoms didn’t fit the noisy, hyperactive stereotype, so they were often chalked up to daydreaming, anxiety, or being “just a bit forgetful.”

The Art of Masking

Many of us became professional maskers—over-preparing for meetings, making endless lists, and triple-checking the oven because we forgot whether we turned it off… again. We looked like we had it all under control, but behind the scenes, we were juggling chaos like a caffeinated circus performer.

Hormones, Life, and the Great Unmasking

Then came midlife—menopause, perimenopause, ageing parents, growing kids, and jobs that expect us to actually read all those emails. Our once-effective coping strategies start to crack, and suddenly, the “quirks” we managed for decades become impossible to ignore.

The Emotional Whirlwind of Late Diagnosis

Relief

That moment when the pieces click? Pure bliss. “So it’s not that I’m a hopeless mess—it’s just my brain wiring!” Instant self-compassion upgrade.

Grief

But relief often sits beside grief—the sadness for missed chances, stalled dreams, and all the years we thought we just weren’t good enough.

Anger

There’s also the occasional urge to write strongly-worded letters to every teacher, boss, and GP who told us to “just try harder.”

Hope

And then, hope. Because now that you know, you can finally work with your brain, not against it. And that’s where the magic begins.

Tips for Thriving With ADHD in Midlife

Keep It Simple

• Three priorities a day—maximum.

• Big calendars. Bright colours. Sticky notes everywhere. Yes, everywhere.

• Link new habits to old ones: “After my coffee, I check my planner.”

Break It Down

• Small tasks are less scary than giant ones.

• Timers are your friend. (Even the bossy kitchen one.)

• Accountability buddies keep you honest—plus, they’re great for venting.

Self-Care Isn’t Optional

• Book guilt-free downtime.

• Five-minute mindfulness breaks to breathe, stretch, or pet the cat.

• Treat sleep like an Olympic sport—protect it fiercely.

Play to Your Strengths

• Harness your hyperfocus for projects you love.

• Use your creativity to solve problems in ways other people can’t.

• Lean into empathy—it’s one of your superpowers.

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Where Hypnosis Comes In

Hypnosis isn’t about someone swinging a watch and making you cluck like a chicken (unless that’s your thing—no judgement). It’s a deeply focused, relaxing state that helps you rewire unhelpful patterns and reinforce the good stuff.

Why It Works for ADHD

• Calms the chaos: Helps dial down anxiety and emotional overwhelm.

• Boosts focus: Reinforces mental clarity and follow-through.

• Rebuilds confidence: Plants positive beliefs where old self-criticism lived rent-free.

• Improves sleep: Quietens the brain at night so you can actually rest.

Tailored to You

Good hypnosis for ADHD is personal—think scripts that:

• Anchor motivation to daily habits.

• Let you mentally rehearse handling tricky situations.

• Turn “I was late diagnosed” into “I’m finally running with the right instructions.”

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Mixing Hypnosis With Other Supports

• Get a formal diagnosis and a clear treatment plan.

• Consider medication if recommended—it can be life-changing.

• Learn practical tools through CBT.

• Work with an ADHD coach for accountability.

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• Connect with peer support groups—they get it.

Final Word to the Lost Girls

You were never actually lost—your compass was just hidden under a pile of mismatched socks, unopened mail, and three “important” notebooks you forgot you owned.

Midlife is your fresh start. With self-understanding, tailored strategies, and tools like hypnosis, you can rewrite the story. And this time, you’re the hero—with better shoes, a decent map, and maybe even a snack for the journey.